When three tenths of a second is too slow…

I’m not too sure I could live with that. Well, it would be hard at first…like, brutal…but it would a serious piece of motivation to find ways to make myself faster! I suppose I could give up dessert but don’t I want to be heavier to get down the track faster? I could shave every hair on my body but that would just be too cold and frankly, quite useless seeing as the ultra spandex suit in itself would make me super fast! Come to think of it, I should really get one of those suits for my commute to the bus stop – I could shave off a good 8.5 seconds on my walk down the hill! Not that I’ve been late (too often) but it would give me time to focus on flossing which I’ve basically given up on since I flossed one of my fillings right on out of my mouth a few months back! I have to admit that carrying a toothpick everywhere I go and digging around for that little extra chicken crammed in the back cavernous hole in my tooth really isn’t that bad. I guess I’d have to make sure that I dug out all the food stuck back there…that could make me faster. Can you pass me a cookie?